Since our last correspondence I have since celebrated a birthday and took myself to Cancun, Mexico for my 32nd chapter of life.

Birthdays are like a celebration of a new year for me and with that comes A LOT of thinking about everything under the sun (literally!).

I am in Cancun enjoying the sun and my mind is processing so much, I thought what better way to process than to share with you.

Here are a few things that have been on my mind, reply back if you can relate to any of it.

Below are some topics that were on my mind:

Babies: Funny but not really.  I love children!  A part of me wants to be a mother while another part is unsure if it will happen for me.  More women are having children later in life so that’s a glimmer of sunshine! With that being said I also think about the risks involved with pregnancy as I age.  *Bookmark this topic for a later post*.

Side note: I did an interview (#MeetTheAuthors) for my upcoming anthology ‘Unchain me Mama: The Forgiveness Factor’ (Coming late 2019). My chapter is titled ‘Naturally Ever After: Forgiving Through Healthy Living’. I share my story of being diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). Click here to view the interview.

Career: I’ve been a social worker for TEN (10) YEARS now! That is a long time and I am ready to retire lol.  I have been re-searching doctoral programs while also keeping in mind that this will be an out of pocket investment for me. #TeamNoStudentLoans

Hair: November 2019 will make twelve (12) years since my last relaxer. I am glad that I proved to myself that I can grow thick healthy hair. However the way this Atlanta heat is set up, a low cut is looking very possible right now, plus I would save a ton of money on hair products; specifically conditioner. I have also considering growing my hair to waist length and then cutting it completely off by the time I turn forty (40) years old. We’ll see what happens.

Living: I have been in Atlanta, Georgia since September 2015 and it has been a character building journey. I love it here! After overcoming my fear of living alone in August 2016; I have been thinking about moving? Where? I have no idea as of yet but another country is definitely an option.

Finances: I am thankful to be able to comfortably pay my expenses and make time for fun. What could I do more of now so that I have a bigger safety net for a rainy day? (Cooking my meals and not eating out is definitely a start ha-ha).

Love: My forever partner is out there in the world, we just haven’t crossed paths yet. Although marriage has never been a goal for me, the idea of lifelong partnership is. I have been happily single since August 2016 and have been opening up to potentially dating exclusively if and ONLY a compatible match presents themselves to me.

Until next time,

-Nydia

Welcome to ‘What I am Wondering Wednesdays‘ (WWW) where I will share with you weekly thoughts on things that come up in my natural hair journey.

Happy first day of spring! There is so much to enjoy about spring:

• Longer days (yasssss daylight).
• Warmer weather.
• Good-bye winter blues *peace out*
• Yummy fruits that are in season.
• One season away from summer!

I can go on and on but that’s another post for another day.  

What I want to share is one (1) shift that comes around every year and that is my spring hair regimen.  I usually wonder what I have to do for my hair that’s better than the previous year so I can get closer to achieving my desired length.  As my hair grows, I have to pivot with the products that I use.  

Last week I decided to try something new and I have been pleased with how good these products have loved up on my hair. This brand is…….

*drum roll please*

KOILS BY NATURE

I used their Guaranteed Hydration Kit- Tea Tree Mint and babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  My curls were all kinds of beautiful without having to use the entire bottle to achieve hydration lol. 

Side note: I go through one (1) bottle of deep conditioner per wash *clutches invisible pearls*. 

Below are my thoughts on each product:

Tea Tree Mint Hair & Scalp Cleanser: This product is like a clarifying shampoo. It comes in liquid form kind of like a diluted castile soap but with a pump. I like it because you don’t need a lot to lather your hair. I combed my hair into sections prior to adding the product and focused more on my scalp and letting the rest of the product work its way to my ends.  This is not a shampoo you should use often, it can be very drying. 

Ultra Moisturizing Cocoaloe Deep Conditioner: The consistency of this product is super thin BUT DON’T LET THAT FOOL YOU.  After letting my hair partially air dry with a micro fiber towel, I put a dime sized amount of conditioner on a section of my hair.  It felt like my hair was being revived!  It went on smooth, it didn’t weight my hair down and I didn’t need a lot of product. I was able to easily finger detangle my hair.

Moisturizing Shealoe Leave-In Conditioner: This here is the baby sister of the Cocoaloe deep conditioner.  It does the exact same thing, the only difference is that you can keep this product on your hair without having to rinse it out.

Herbal Curl Defining Gel: Gels typically don’t work well for me.  I have a lot of hair and my roots are super dense so I usually have to saturate my hair with gel and as a result my hair stays wet for most of the day.  What I loved about this gel is that it is not heavy or sticky.  It has a flaxseed texture and gives my hair definition with a nice finishing gloss.

Heavely Delight Hair & Body Butter: The consistency of this product is super thick. Think of Shea butter with a subtle fragrance. I like that you can use this product on your hair and body. I would use this more in the winter months instead of the spring to seal in moisture. For my wash and go, I rubbed a small amount of the body better into my hands and focused mainly on my ends.

By the end of it all, it was truly a GREAT hair day followed by a great hair week   I was able to wear the same style for the rest of week with minimal maintenance.

Get your products at Koils by Nature

I hope you enjoyed this review. Reply to this email on topics you would like to see in the future.

-Nydia

In 2017, after attending the first annual Black Therapist Rock (BTR) Conference I decided to be a part of a book collaboration project titled  ‘Black Therapist Rock- A glimpse through the eyes of experts. In my chapter, Don’t get it twisted! I share a joyous moment in a past love story that took place on 02.14.15 at 10:18pm. That resulted in hair loss and turned into a defining character building moment of my life!

Four (4) years later, I can appreciate that time for what it was back then. Today I have transcended to being intentionally mindful of my feelings, when I have them and processing what I need in the moment. Especially in relationships, we often default to romantic relationships however the same can be applied to friendships, interactions with relatives and peers. Life has its challenges, this part no one can escape however things do not need to be toxic. Let me repeat that again for the people in the back, Things DON’T NEED TO BE TOXIC.

According to WedMD.com stress is defined as:

“The body’s reaction to harmful situations — whether they’re real or perceived. When you feel threatened, a chemical reaction occurs in your body that allows you to act in a way to prevent injury. This reaction is known as “fight-or-flight,” or the stress response. During stress response, your heart rate increases, breathing quickens, muscles tighten, and blood pressure rises. You’ve gotten ready to act. It is how you protect yourself”

Makes sense right? It does to me, no wonder my hair was falling out! Other stress related symptoms include but are not limited to headaches, low energy, insomnia and upset stomach just to name a few.

I was so stressed with everything that was going on that my body had a build up of the stress response. I remember feeling sad and anxious on the regular basis, I was unable to sleep and could barely eat. Has stress ever hit you this hard before?

In my book chapter, I share the very moment when I realized that I was over it and made the decision that was healthy for me. I re-learned through actively implementing self care and journaling that there is not greater love than what you extended to yourself first.

What helped me get to a consistent space of healing and light was journaling.  I journaled about EVERYTHING, the weather (lol), my hair, my heart, my feelings, finances and health goals that I wanted to accomplish. Journaling kept me in a space of appreciativeness for the process.  I also learned to extended grace to myself because I was truly doing my best with what I knew at the time.

Click the image below to purchase your copy today!

-Nydia

It’s been one year! Un año! ONE FULL YEAR since I birth the idea of Your Natural Hairapist (YNH).  Let me take you back (lol). YNH was created on 08.13.17 (right after the 1st Black Therapist Rock conference) as platform to support black women in gaining confidence to overcome barriers attached to obtaining outward beauty.

So what can you expect in 2019? 

In the past year YNH has highlighted the beauty of being natural as well host  spaces to address psychosocial stressors that women face in their natural hair journey through a holistic lens.  In 2019 expect more opportunities to explore diet/ nutrition, personal style (SLAYYYY) and step-by-step guides to practically implement self care via online challenges, workshops, webinars and live events.

I am EXCITED for all that is to come!

Share below what you want to see happen in 2019 in the comments below.

-Nydia

It happened! On 08.03.18 I facilitated a panel discussion at the Black Therapist Rock conference in Silver Spring, Maryland.

In today’s episode of The other side of natural hair: Natural Hair Talk (NHT) episode #9 features Ashely Gilmore, recent graduate who studied marriage/ family therapy.

In our candid conversation, we talk about the in-between phase when transitioning from a relaxer to natural hair. What do you do when hair is your identity?

Watch the FB live below and share your own experience/ thoughts in the comments.

-Nydia

In today’s episode of The other side of natural hair: Natural Hair Talk (NHT) episode #8 features Dr. Kizzy Pittrell (counseling psychologist) and Veronica Martin, MHC (Mental Health Counselor).

In our candid conversation, we talk about the coin! Money, Money and more MONEY! As it relates to the expense associate with the maintenance of natural hair.  Truthfully, everyone wants to look and feel good and unless you know how to style your own hair professionally, maintenance is going to cost you some coins:

Watch the FB live below and share your own experience/ thoughts in the comments. On average, how much do you spend monthly on your natural hair?

-Nydia

In today’s episode of The other side of natural hair: Natural Hair Talk (NHT) episode #7 features DeShelle Devereaux, LAPC (Licensed Associate Professional Counselor).

In our candid conversation, we talk about being natural and wearing protective styles.  The misconception is that wearing extensions, wigs or weaves means that you don’t have hair- WRONG!

Watch the FB live below and share your own experience/ thoughts in the comments.

-Nydia

Thank you Latrice for sharing your loc journey!

In today’s episode of The other side of natural hair:Natural Hair Talk (NHT) episode #6 features Shenikka Moore-Clark, LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) *woot woot*! Shenikka is the founder of Golden Life Coaching and Counseling, LLC in Washington, DC.

In our candid conversation, we talk about transitioning back to natural hair before support to maintain natural hair became mainstream and easily accessible.

Watch the FB live below and share your own experience/ thoughts in the comments.

-Nydia

Thank you Maria for your contribution in the Autism community!

In today’s episode of The other side of natural hair:Natural Hair Talk (NHT) episode #5 features Latrice Sampson Richards, LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor) founder of Latrice Sampson Richards Life Enhancement Coaching.

I’ve been waiting to have this convo for some time!

My last relaxer was in November 2007; in my 10.5 years of being natural I have had locs three (3) times.  Each loc journey taught me something new about myself, one thing that I do remember was how isolating it was emotionally.

Locs are often left out of the natural hair community.  In our candid conversation, we talk about locs and Latrice’s unique hair journey in re-establishing her self esteem and SLAYING along the way!

Watch the FB live below and share your own experience with locs/ thoughts in the comments.

-Nydia